George Dabbelju

Dieser (fiktive) Dialog ist uralt und sicherlich kennen ihn schon viele, aber weil er mir gestern zufällig wieder in die Hände geraten ist, will ich ihn doch posten.

Es geht darum, daß die US-Sicherheitsberaterin Condoleezza Rice ihren Chef über Chinas neuen Parteivorsitzenden Hu Jiantao informieren will.

Funktioniert leider nur auf Englisch:


Bush: “Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?”
Rice: “Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.”
Bush: “Great. Lay it on me.”
Rice: “Hu is the new leader of China.”
Bush: “That’s what I want to know.”
Rice: “That’s what I’m telling you.”
Bush: “That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?”
Rice: “Yes.”
Bush: “I mean the fellow’s name.”
Rice: “Hu.”
Bush: “The Chinaman!”
Rice: “Hu is leading China.”
Bush: “Now whaddya’ asking me for?”
Rice: “I’m telling you Hu is leading China.”
Bush: “Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?”
Rice: “That’s the man’s name.”
Bush: “That’s who’s name?”
Rice: “Yes.”
Bush: “Will you or will you not tell me the name of the leader of China?”
Rice: “Yes, Sir.”
Bush: “Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.”
Rice: “That’s correct.”
Bush: “Then who is in China?”
Rice: “Yes, Sir.”
Bush: “Yassir is in China?”
Rice: “No, Sir.”
Bush: “Then who is?”
Rice: “Yes, Sir.”
Bush: “Yassir?”
Rice: “No, Sir.”
Bush: “Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.”
Rice: “Kofi?” [Kofi Annan]
Bush: “No, thanks.”
Rice: “You want Kofi.”
Bush: “No.”
Rice: “You don’t want Kofi.”
Bush: “No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.”
Rice: “Yes, Sir.”
Bush: “Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.”
Rice: “Kofi?”
Bush: “Milk! Will you please make the call?”
Rice: “And call who?”
Bush: “Who is the guy at the U.N.?”
Rice: “Hu is the guy in China.”
Bush: “Will you stay out of China?”
Rice: “Yes, Sir.”
Bush: “And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at he U.N.”
Rice: “Kofi.”
Bush: “All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.”
- Condi picks up the phone. -
Rice: “Rice, here.”
Bush: "Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.